nothing bugs me more nowdays than the overtly obnoxious horoscope programmes ( if its legal to call them that)..
drowsy dickheads and heavy-on-kohl n short-on-cloth-for-sleeves bitches pop up on EVERY goddamn channel.. n start predicting your deaths... n then console u by tellin the next sun sign's nt faring better either. m waiting to see what worse than death.
apart from sudden n totally unexpected popouts... here are some common events n dates that trigger them outta their shitty hibernation.. onto our TV sets.. in weird costumes n weird names..
1. Solar eclipse : : if free will ruled, they'll send a guy up there to block the sun with his bottoms every secnd day. solar eclipse's like the Numero uno in pop-out reasons...
2. Lunar eclipse : : duh.. wat else.. bloody i've had fights with my closed ones during one of these. the guy even had the literate capability to link up a moon's eclipse to a guy's wife running away...
yeaaaa... bless the moon's light, she saw his face ever more clearly!! was a bat, so couildnt open her eyes in the morning...
3. Any festival. oh man, wats pongal or bhai dhuj got to do with horoscope??
4. Any celebrity death/ wedding/divorce :: they'll pull out their charts to even predict how rakhi sawant's next stage show ( or mujraa) gonna be viable comercially! u dnt need horoscopes for her.. sentence her to death. or atleast forced eviction from our sights.
5. Any national holiday :: loser TV channels havent got anythin more interesting, so, y nt just pop out some 1 from the im-a-loony-here-to-make-u-a-moony community!
6. Days with not much unusual activity : : well, who likes boredom!! during this time.. these programms double up as comedy showS!! AAj tak banne chala Star world!!
7. rained heavily / or didnt.
8. Cow givin milk continuously for three hours.
9. Idols drinking milk!! yea one more of those n i'll sue the insane sheepish indian population for believeing it.
10. Khali loses a match in LA... even after a yagya in ludhiana... OMG!! wat are the chances!! its gotta do summin with his taare!! so, might as well pull out your taare too!!
many more.
the shows being shown are a nonentity on the english news channels. excpet maybe headlines today... [who watches it anyway.. a Jhujaar singh with a thick accent scares every1 wenever his eyebrows vanish into his forehead!]
the channels i hate due to this horoscope torture!!
just four. the rest , like total TV, sahara samany, aaj tak tez, delhi, ibn 7, etc. didnt even care to flip through them.
AAj TAk :: get each n every bitch there to go burn themselves in hell. guys are no bettter.. Prabhu chwala of seedhi baat : u better nt meet Me anywhere!! u speak like a whore on lose!!
WTF!! y nt altogether ban aaj tak!! the lady in the horoscope programs wears makeup like its nt only free.. buh like its gonna make her hide her face in shame..
ZEE NEWS :: itni himmat k they've got nt one, buh two screens... two yogis chanting on a ;live primetime show... mantras no sane person's expected to understand.
STAR NEWS : : well, its a comedy channel. so, everything's forgiven.
INDIA TV : : ahan, seriously???
